my brother is really homophobic and he tried to insult me by saying “at least i’m not gonna marry a girl!” and i started laughing and he got the most mortified look on his face because he tried so hard to insult my sexuality but he actually just made himself sound gay boom i win
i think its dumb if drug dealers get sentenced to longer in prison that rapists?? like people ask for drugs but no one asks for rape???
Finally someone said it.
when my mum scolds me
“you’re going to have that tattoo for the rest of your life”
are you serious
i had no idea thank you so much bless your soul
most private thing im willing to admit: im not good at estimating how much pasta is enough for one person
there’s a tool for that
I’m sorry, does that scale progress from a child to a HORSE?
OMG GET IT
IM SO HUNGRY
IT’S SO HARD WHEN YOU’RE IN A CUDDLY MOOD AND DON’T HAVE ANYONE TO CUDDLE WITH THIS IS AN OUTRAGE
[anxiously hopes u consider me a friend]